


Panic and Dad’s

by MarauderChaos



Series: Scorbus is beautiful ~ Albus is beautiful [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Severus Potter-centric, Anxiety, F/F, F/M, Harry Potter Next Generation, M/M, Minor Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-16
Updated: 2019-11-16
Packaged: 2021-02-07 10:34:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21456634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarauderChaos/pseuds/MarauderChaos
Summary: He’s scared, he’s sad and nobody understands what’s going on. Except maybe they don’t need to, someone just needs to help him.Or Albus has a panic attack
Relationships: Albus Severus Potter & Harry Potter, Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter
Series: Scorbus is beautiful ~ Albus is beautiful [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1546747
Comments: 3
Kudos: 72





	Panic and Dad’s

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of my new Scorbus series - which admittedly with centre more around Albus, sorry in advance - and I also want to say I have never had a panic attack before, so most of this is based of my imagination and things so I mean no offence to anyone. 
> 
> And if you are confused, don’t worry there will be more in this series that explains it.

** A/N: So disclaimer, all right go to JK Rowling (obviously) and I have an odd question, for another part of this series the Potters go on holiday, where Al first meets Delphi, for anyone out there who gets travel sick on a plane, what’s it like? Sorry this is so odd 😂😂😅 **

“Cheer up” James Potter rolled his eyes towards his little brother and clapped him on the shoulder. The seventeen year old Slytherin scowled in response and stared at the floor.

The Potters, Teddy and a small section of the Weasleys - Ron, Hermione, Rose and Hugo we’re heading to check out the new restaurant in town, it was during the Christmas break, the night was already upon them and Albus was on edge. He had nothing against nighttime, in fact he like the peace and quiet that came with it, often he would’ve gone on a nighttime walk to clear his head, though he hadn’t had the chance recently. So no, it wasn’t the dark that set him on edge, it was the letter in his pocket. Unopened.

“Reservation under the name of Potter”

There was a moment of rustling papers, yet Albus didn’t look up, keeping his eyes glued to his shoes. He could practically feel the irritation radiation from his James and Lily without having to confirm it. They didn’t understand, so he didn’t blame them, but a pang or hurt ran through his body. His hand clenched over the letter crumpling it slightly, thumb running over the familiar handwriting. 

“Ah right this way Lord Potter”

This new restaurant was called The Log House, owned by Madam Rosmerta But run by other people. It accepted both magical and muggles, on different sides of course. The Muggles could only enter from one side and the Wizards from the other to avoid the statue of secrecy being broken. He glanced around for a more,not, taking in the sort of cosy space, differing between the bar, small round tables and booths. They were guided towards a large table, not a booth but next to the booths with a reservation card balanced on a menu in the middle of the table. There were very few people in tonight, he supposed that’s why his father chose that evening and those that were didn’t pay any attention.

Albus sighed to himself. He didn’t want to be here, he would much rather be asleep or calling his boyfriend, but no. He wasn’t even hungry for merlins sake. It was odd, really, to call Scorpius his boyfriend. They had loved each other for years, in fact they had dated before he met her. They had broke it off because of  her , because  she had information neither of them wanted released however Albus supposed their came a point when even Delphi didn’t care anymore.

He ran a hand through his hair, wincing as it pulled at the stitches in his arm, hidden beneath his clothes and bandaged up.

It had all gone wrong four weeks ago. Well, if he was being truthful it went wrong awhile ago but he refused to admit it. Delphi Riddle - his ex girlfriend. To be fair, there was a point in which they both liked the other and thought it could work, but it never could have. She was controlling, subtly, half the time she didn’t realise she was doing it, told him to wear different clothes or style his hair differently or when he could and couldn’t see his family. It was like these little games she played. Mind games. One week he was sure it was all going to be fine and then the next week she was yelling, screaming and he was doubting his own worth.

Then about two months ago, she hit him. A smack right across the face, red with anger. It was followed quickly by shock and horror, and she begged and pleaded her forgiveness, said she would never do it again.

A week later, she did it again. And again. She kicked him out of their room at one point, made him sleep in the garden on the patio. And another time she got angry at dinner and poured the kettle over him. 

A few incidents were accidents however including the knife. She was making sandwiches when he apparated into the kitchen making her jump and she accidentally stabbed him the shoulder, it’s quite a long cut, but they decided to go to the muggle hospital so’s not to draw attention.

Then last time he put up with her shit was the night he left. She got so angry she hit him on the back three times with the hot fire poker.

He had already packed everything up by this point and grabbed them and she managed to cut his forearm with the end, resulting in the bandages now. He had at least five owls in the four weeks, each other then he had not written back. Apparently she had gotten herself help and started taking meds and going to these special classes. But he wasn’t sure if he cared anymore. Despite popular belief, they hadn’t been dating for the last eight months in that year, he was certain Delphi had another man and Albus had Scorpius, but Delphi was insistent they stayed together until they had both payed off the house they were in.   
  


He followed them in, wearing an oversize jumper to hide the still healing cut and any other scars he had astained and the damned shaking that never seemed to leave. 

What his parents didn’t know was that he had spent a week homeless until he got the courage to come back. Nobody knew who “broke up” with who but everyone assumed it was Delphi because he was always in a negative mood, but it wasn’t. 

He slid into a seat between his mum and Rose, James sat at the end of the table and Harry sat on Ginnys other other side. Teddy sat at the other end and lily and Hugo sat opposite him and rose with Ron and Hermione next to him. It was nice and warm, and he honestly could have shut his eyes right there and slept, thought it wouldn’t have been for long, it usually wasn’t. 

“What do you want Al?”

He jumped slightly and blinked at the menu in front of him, rubbing his eyes. 

“Just a cheeseburger please” he murmured with a shrug, ignoring the exasperated sigh from his brother and disapproving glance from Uncle Ron. Ginny squeezed his shoulder softly and gave the order for him. 

He was always a shy kid, never really had the chance to come out of his shell with anyone other than his family or Scorpius thanks to the rest of the Hogwarts Population. 

“Hey Albie! A women in labour suddenly shouted “Shouldn’t Wouldn’t Couldn’t Didn’t Can’t” 

James was grinning and he could see Rose, Lily and Hugo groaning at the horrible joke, Lily aiming a kick under the table.

“Don’t worry, said the Doc, those are just contractions”

He stared at him blankly, raising an eyebrow, no amount of amusement on his face. James scowled and rolled his eyes and Albus just blinked before turning back to stare down at the table. Ginny and Harry shared a glance.

He barely noticed when the food arrived, zoning in and out of the conversations around him whilst willing his eyes to stay open. A soft hand gently squeezed his own, and he brought his eyes up to his mums face, swimming in and out of his vision. He swallowed hard, her voice echoing as if he was underwater.

“Are you okay-?”

He flinched, watching a dark shadow emerge, creeping up along the wall behind them. He took a shaky breath, hands clammy and fear starting to creep up.

“_How could anyone want you?”_

_ “YOUR SO STUPID YOU IDIOT-!” _

_ “Oh merlin grow up would you” _

_ “Wear this, it looks nicer” _

_ “Why do you want to see them? They probably hate you” _

_ “STAY OUTSIDE I DON’T WANT TO LOOK AT YOU!” _

_ “Your so pathetic” _

_ “You leave now and I’ll find you I swear! Leave and I’ll kill your precious family” _

Those last words burned in his ears, much louder, much closer than the rest and he stumbled backwards, chair scraping against the floor before toppling backwards. His hands shook, clenching and unclenching as his eyes tried to find her. She couldn’t be here, she couldn’t know, but what if she was? Shit shit shit! 

Shadows were beginning to cover the room, washing everyone else from his vision and he began to panic, running a hand through his hair blindly, flinching violently as hand fell on his arm. A strangled noise escaped his lips, and his legs moved before his mind could catch up, cutting through the shadows and bursting out of the double doors of the restaurant. The night was dark, and he struggled forwards down the path, catching ahold of metal railings at the edge of the path, facing the road.

They were black and wet and rain was just beginning to start spitting once more, his hands clenched tightly like an anchor into the bar, knuckles as white as his complexion. His legs shook and he crouched down before they could give way completely, pressing his forehead against one of the bars, breathing heavily. It was only in that moment, when clear fresh air entered his lungs did he realise he was hyperventilating quite badly, and his chest heaved, clawing for air and he tried to calm himself down, rocking slightly, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Al” Someone spoke his name, seeming very far away, and a hand slipped onto his shoulder. He flinched once more and shook his head rapidly, breath speeding back up and the hand pulled back. 

He was so scared. 

James was pretty pissed, as they walked into the restaurant. Though in his defence, he had a pretty good reason. He could see the frustration in just about everyone’s eyes - bar Mum, Dad and Aunt Hermione - even Uncle Ron was frowning slightly, and that was never a good sign. The source of this frustration - Albus Potter. He disappears for a good eight months or so, without any contact, before he just waltzed back home. James would admit he was worried for his brother, but at the moment he was just angry, after all they only knew he’d broken up with his girlfriend Delphi, though James was pretty sure she had broken up with him, why would he be in his room all the time if it wasn’t the other way around? Not to mention he rarely spoke to them at all. So ungrateful. 

He watched his brother, the way he hunched over slightly, as if to try and hide, and the way his eyes stared blankly from one place to the next as if not really seeing anything. They all sat down, and for a second he thought Albus had fallen asleep, before he saw his eyes jerk up and take the offered menu. 

James attempted to make a joke, it was terrible he knew, but at least his sister and cousins groaned, Albus just sort of stared at him. He watched his parents share and glance, and his frustration mounted, lips twisting into a scowl. It wasn’t fair on them, what Albus was doing, and they didn’t seem to see that, they just waited with the patience of a fricken saint. 

The food was really good, he decided, he would definitely come back here, as he dived into his curry. It was a nice place as well, it was rather aesthetically pleasing. 

He glanced up, hearing his mum speak and found her watching Albus, who seemed to be in some sort of internal struggle. His gaze dipped past their mother and James realised he wasn’t listening, Uncle Ron caught his eye and frowned slightly, James quirked an eyebrow in response and shook his head slightly as if to say “ _I don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he needs to get his act together”_

James jumped in surprise as his brother jerked backwards, knocking the chair to the floor with a loud bang looking as though he’d seen a ghost. He caught his father releasing his wand, an instinctive reaction ingrained from the war as his parent rose from their seats. 

Mum tried to touch him, but he flinched away as if he had been hit, and a James didn’t understand, what the hell was going on. The colour seemed to have drained from his brothers face, and he had begun to hyperventilate, eyes wide and almost feral, before he stumbled, half running from the room, the door banging shut behind him. 

The anger seemed to drain out of him as he watched his brother flee, frowning with confusion and worry. He couldn’t help feeling concerned despite his previous frustration, James had never seen that look on his brothers face before and frankly it was scary. What had he seen, or thought he’d seen that made him so upset? 

“Stay here” Harry told them, using what his children had dubbed his “Auror Voice”

And left the room, following Albus. Ginny he could just catch apologising to the staff, before the door fell shut. 

His eyes found his son, leant against the railings, body shaking whether from the cold or the panic he wasn’t sure. Harry crouched down beside him with a soft “Al” as a warning before gently placing a hand on his shoulder. His son flinched and began to panic once more so he quickly retracted his hand, silently cursing himself. 

For the last week, himself and Ginny were mostly relived Al had come home, not really able to get angry like his siblings. That doesn’t mean they weren’t worried however, because they were, and in all honesty watching his interactions and behaviour for the past week, Harry had been expecting this sometime soon. He wasn’t a stranger to panic attacks himself, the war does a number on them, and he had seen how his son seemed to hold them off over the last couple of days. 

“Al, take a deep breath for me”

A part of him was thankful that nobody else was around, mostly so it would be easier to calm his son down. In all honestly he was rather alarmed by what had just happened and he longed to pull him into a hug, but he knew that wouldn’t help right now. 

His words seemed to get through as he took a shaky but deep breath, a noise torn between a gasp and a sob seemed to break through his lips and Harry found his heart breaking. 

“D-Dad” He choked out with another deep breath, and Harry shifted slightly, holding back from touching him. 

“I’m here Al, it’s okay, just breath” 

“I-I can’t, I c-c-can’t, I-it hurts” 

Harry made a probably stupid decision in that moment, but his own fear for his child was mounting. He watched as Albus tried to take a breath, releasing a hand from the rails and placing it against his chest, eyes squeezed tightly shut. 

“Albus, I’m going to apparate us home”

He said as calmly as he could, waiting for a nod of acknowledgement, before he moved. Harry was careful, as he stood, coming to crouch behind him instead and gently wrap his arms around his waist. He heard his breath hitch and another soft gasp, so he tightened his grip and closed his eyes for a second, letting that familiar gut wrenching feeling over take them before they landed in the hallway of Potter cottage. Harry released him quickly, and stepped back, as Albus jerked forwards on to his hands and knees, face almost green. 

Any form of apparation was nasty, others coped better than some. Harry knew Albus had one of the strongest stomachs on the house, he had never before felt sick from any form of wizarding travel before - though oddly planes seemed to disagree with him - which just enhanced the severity of the situation and the panic. 

He quickly crouched beside him, reaching out a slowly placing hand on his back, rubbing gently. This time Albus flinched but didn’t protest, breathing heavily, eyes still squeezed shut. He pushed himself away, body slumping back against the wall, hands shaking violently. 

“M’good”

Albus mumbled after a few moments of ragged breathing. The worst of the panic attack seemed over, and Harry slowly placed a hand on his ankle. Matching emerald eyes flew open but he took a deep breath, before the panic could start to rise. 

“Just keep breathing” Harry murmured softly, rubbing his ankle, trying to soothe him. His muscles were still tensed, and there was a flicker of panic in his eyes that had yet to leave, but the fear seemed to have disappeared. 

Suddenly a loud crack echoed to the left of them, and Teddy froze, eyes wide, blue hair turning brown. Albus jerked, emerald orbs filling with horror, glazing over, breath catching. He was remembering something, and Harry longed to know what, know what had hurt his son, but he had to make sure he was okay  now first. 

“Out!” Harry snapped, unintentionally loud and harsh, but his godson left quickly. He would apologise later. This time, he reacted on instinct as Albus pitched forwards his arms wrapped around him. 

It was going to be okay, it was fine, everyone was fine. He was safe-

It was the mantra he repeated over and over in his head, but with a loud crack breaking his thoughts, the calm he brought was gone and he jolted forwards, eyes flying open, lost in a memory. 

_The door slammed shut like a crack of thunder and Delphi stalked towards him, eyes narrowed in anger. _

_“What the hell is this?” She hissed, brandishing a pocket knife in one hand and a letter in the other. He winced unconsciously, still nursing a bruise from the other night, dread filling his stomach. That was a Christmas present from Grandfather Weasley as they called him, and the letter was an unsent reply to the latest one from Scorpius. He had written that in anger, and it held a lot of unsavoury terms and angry insults towards her. _

_“A letter written out of anger, I was never going to send it” He sighed and took a step back as she stepped forwards, tossing the letter aside, seemingly forgetting about the knife in her hands. Her eyes were narrowed in anger, and her face was twisted into this ugly scowl that promised vengeance. _

_“I don’t believe you” She hissed and he took another step back. “Your a selfish, lying, worthless brat, that’s what you are”_

_“Delphi I-“ _

_“SHUT UP! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! YOUR A PEICE OF SHIT! DO YOU HEAR ME? A. PEICE. OF. SHIT.”_

_“Language” He wasn’t sure why he was correcting her, and mentally bereaved himself as her face grew redder, after all he was definitely a hypocrite._

_Her palm connected with his face, sending a flare across his cheek followed quickly by heat, as if flames were crawling up his face. He stumbled slightly, but kept his balance, raising a hand to his face protectively._

_“You can’t do anything right can you?” She snapped, turning her back to pick up the cup of tea he’d made for her, grimacing as she took a sip. _

_“See? Too hot you idiot, how is anyone going to drink that??!”_

_“It’s a flipping HOT drink, it’s meant to be hot. Not my fault you burn your tongue” He replied sharply, irritation rising, emerald eyes flashing with rebellious anger. She span back round, raising an eyebrow. _

_“If you like it so much, have it” She sneered, and before he could move, threw the cup towards him. _

_His hands kept his face from harm, as the newly boiled water drenched through his thin shirt, pain rippling across his chest and arms. A scream left his lips, quiet but agonising as he dropped to his knees, curling his arms protectively around his chest, tears stinging in his eyes. The china cup shattered on the floor, shards digging through his trousers and into his skin, breaking through the flimsy wall of protection and drawing droplet of blood to stain his jeans. _

_Somewhere in the house, a door slammed shut. _

“It’s okay, it’s okay, just breathe Al, that’s it, take a deep breath”

Deep and soothing, a voice slowly broke through his thoughts, his memories, and he wheezed, taking a deep breath, not really realising that he hadn’t been. His hands unconsciously curled into a soft material, cocooned in strong arms, with a familiar scent washing over him, some part of his brain recognised he was safe. 

He took another breath, gasping and gulping at the air, head resting on a toned chest, with tears rolling down his cheeks. 

“Sorry, I’m sorry, I-I-“

He hiccuped, unable to stop the steady run of tears and garbled words, sobs bubbling up from his chest. A part of him expected the arms to pull away, or push him away, it wouldn’t be the first time, but they didn’t, they held him steady like an anchor and he realised he was beginning to calm down. 

“You okay?” 

He didn’t answer for a moment, letting the last of his tears fall before testing his ability to speak. 

“Yeah.. y-yeah I t-think so” 

Albus initiated the first move, pulling himself up slowly and collapsing back against the wall. He took some deep, steady breaths, breathing in through his nose and out through his mouth, just to make sure it was over. Slowly his eyes fluttered open, meeting matching green and he winced, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Harry asked quietly, sitting beside him, a balloon of relief filling up when he realised it was over. Adrenaline pumped through his veins and his palms were sweaty, but his heart ached dull and slow, he never wished his children to experience that. 

As he expected, Albus shook his head, dropping his eyes to the floor, cheeks flaming, dark locks skewering his vision. Harry nodded slightly and offered a gentle smile, knees popping as he standing stood, igniting a soft trace of a laugh from his son. Albus started to rise, using the wall as support until Harry gently with permission, took his arm, letting him lean against him to regain his bearings. 

His eyes were red and puffy, with obvious tear tracks running down his face and once bright emerald eyes now dark and sad. 

“Please....don’t tell the others”

Albus sat slowly on his bed, having made his way up the stairs, his father hovering behind him, something he found he was quite glad of as he slipped a couple of times, barely managing to catch himself. 

“I won’t tell anyone unless you want me to”

His father replied firmly, and gave his shoulder a squeeze of support, leaning down and kissing the top of his head. For a moment he leaned into it, his head gently falling against his fathers stomach and the two men relished in each other’s presence, until the sound of apparation signalled the arrival of the others. 

“Maybe...Mum”

He blurted out as Harry started to close the bedroom door, receiving a soft nod in response. Albus let his body flop down against the sheets, rubbing his tired eyes and letting the exhaustion of the recent events take over as he slipped into darkness. 


End file.
